I'm sayin' it!

I have been battling a horrible, horrible sinus infection lately. Horrible doesn't even begin to describe it actually; it's more like slasher movie horrifying. Totally disgusting. Traumatizing.

I was home from work for several days when I first came down with "The Infection" because, well... I was truly dying.
Once I returned to work I had a few coworkers who were very sympathetic and concerned, most of them just curious and incredibly nosy about my whereabouts. I kept it basic with a few coworkers but as with any work place, they all talk and eventually I didn't have to say "Boo!" they all knew the story.

I walked in to a classroom one morning and had small talk with one particular coworker about "The Infection" and she immediately had something to say. It went a little something like this: "I hope you're eating yogurt! That antibiotic will give you awful yeast infections!"

Wow! Let's take a look at this for a second. Yes, I am aware that the antibiotic I am currently taking for "The Infection" is very powerful and has quite the variety of nasty side affects but... you basically just told me, YOU get awful yeast infections from this particular medicine.
Come on!! That is just horrible! There are some things you just don't tell people, especially people you really do not have a "relationship" with.
I see you at work. I do not converse with you about what I made for dinner last night, what I plan on making next or what I want for my birthday next week (carrot cake with cream cheese frosting). I do not ask about your weekend, you don't tell me about your pet Fido or when your mother is coming to visit.
I'm 30something years old, keep your "down there" issues to yourself or I'll start telling you about mine.
Starting with... I'm 30ish and single. Need I really say more?

Let me start by saying this: I am no expert. I can hardly believe it myself really, but it's true.
I don't want comments later telling me I am completely off my rocker and have no idea what I'm talking about- you can save those, I don't want to hear 'em.

I can pretty much guarantee Boy Child will be in some sort of therapy while he is an adult because I did something, wait no... many things wrong throughout his childhood that have left him completely messed up. As for right now, he is incredibly smart, polite, honest, sincere and so very caring for a boy of his age and honestly, this generation. I'm not messing around with this parenting business, I'm getting shit done.

So with that being said, I of course have shit to say. I took Boy Child out to dinner tonight and while we were conversing (yea, we talk like that) a woman comes in with her young daughter and is seated at the booth behind us.

Now let me tell you I have a horrible issue of eaves dropping in on other people's conversations. There have been times when I couldn't tell you what was being said at my table, but I could tell you what the conversation was about five tables away. It's a problem. Sometimes.

So back to mom and little girl... As I'm listening to this woman talk to the girl I begin to cringe. She is doing that ever famous sing- songy, baby talk voice. I could feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck. She was sitting next to her child on the same side of the booth because, "it was easier to contain her". She asked the server for paper and crayons to keep her busy. (that is understandable at times)
The little girl continued to fidget and the mom continued to talk in the sing- songy voice. Never once did she tell her what needed to be done... she just asked.
Really folks? Since when did it become acceptable to ask your children if it was alright for them to do what was expected of them?

I can tell you right now this mom is going to have her hands full; I've seen it.
I have always said I will not be friends with my child. Once he is grown and has children of his own, then our relationship will change, until then I am his mother/mom.
I speak to/with him like a person. I tell him what is expected of him and he has it pretty much figured out. I am very open and honest with him about many things. I want my child to be able to come to me without hesitation, ever. Yet still, I am not his friend and that has been made clear.
Of course we still have fun, do many fun activities, laugh and joke around but like I've been told, "I run a tight ship".

I am not going to have my child walk all over me. He will not tell me what is or is not the plan. Of course I offer him choices; many, many choices actually, but he knows he is the child, I am the grown up.

I grew up with a Dad who ran a tight ship and a mother who was very wishy-washy and I have to say, my Dad received the respect.

That little girl had it right when she called her mom the babysitter towards the end of dinner, because she really was more of a babysitter. You're supposed to walk all over those people, not your parents.

Did I really just do that? I made a Facebook page for this blog.
Say what!?!
Yes, really.
I don't quite know what my intentions are yet, but if I plan on connecting the two, hot damn! I better plan on writing more. Wait... will people even read this crap? In reality, is it all that interesting?  Then again, the human population pays insane amounts of money every month towards their cable/satellite bills to watch made up shows about people's mundane lives, yet my shit is real yo!

I am still on the fence about this whole do I reveal myself, do I not? It's kind of a pain in the ass. I mean, really... com'on. I have shit to say and people might be offended... I don't want to wake up tomorrow morning and see the tires on my little CUV slashed because I "hurt someone's feelings". I do live in a small town ya' know.

Here goes nothin'.

In all reality I am not one to really say what I think. If something is bothering me, I'll let it eat at me for days and then just let it go; I never address it. I used to think I never had a problem with just spouting off at the mouth what I thought or was thinking but when I dig deep down in my memory, that really isn't true. Things ate at me for a long time and maybe that's why I just hate people; I was always afraid to hurt them.

Since I've been home incredibly sick all week, I've been pondering crazy amounts of shit... in between all my sweet naps of course.

There are people I don't even know anymore. They have changed so much. It's almost like, "Wow! Who the hell are you?"
There are others I would have been able to completely trust, now if I had big enough balls, I would just come out and tell them, "you can't be trusted, relied on and you're definitely not dependable".
What a horrible thing knowing that those are not qualities in someone that played a strong role in your life.

When confronted, I make excuses because I don't want to hurt other people's feelings but that is completely dishonest in itself. I'm just straight up looking the person in the face and lying. Yikes! The extent we go to spare people's feelings is absolutely ridiculous. What we do to spare our own feelings is absurd. We internalize, internalize, internalize!

Stress kills man! My winter is proof. I have never been so sick in my life. This insanity has to stop.

I'm moving to some small crazy ass tropical island, finding myself a hot cabana boy and starting over!

Boy Child woke up this morning and came rushing in to my room to inform me that he, in fact, did have a loose tooth! Now mind you, this tooth wasn't loose yesterday, he just woke up and BAM! it was loose.

If you know anything about Boy Child's history with loose teeth, you know it is always incredibly traumatizing by the time the tooth is removed from his head. The Tooth Fairy gave him $10 for his first tooth because the ordeal was so painful and was just that, an ordeal.

Now, this sweet child spent his day wiggling and twisting this tooth with his tongue. The clicking it made was enough to drive anybody mad! I asked him if I could look at it, he yelled "No!"  the last time I did that I just yanked it out... WOAH! wasn't he pissed!
He would often leave the living room for lengthy periods at a time, returning to inform me that, "nope, it's still loose!"

He managed to eat a meatball sub for dinner and keep that nasty tooth intact; I don't know how he did it, but finally at some point he looks over at me and the look on his face just said it all! That crazy kid wiggled that tooth right out with his tongue!

He has his tooth all put away in an envelope (our ritual) for the Tooth Fairy tonight, he doesn't seem all that crazy about it like he has in the past and I'm beginning to sweat this a little bit.
Yes! I am very well aware that this child is only a month away from turning 11 and he still believes in the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny and Santa Clause.

If he figures out there isn't a Tooth Fairy then that fluffy Easter Bunny won't be making its super secret appearance next month.
How will I ever get a chance to eat the ears off those delicious chocolate bunnies that are left for him?

Remember when the kids were little and it was so cute to put those flashy light up shoes on them? You know the ones that once they took a step all those crazy colors would twinkle, sparkle and shine throughout their sole? The kind that could send pretty much anyone in to an epileptic seizure?
Ohh! Now you're following me... Yes! Those shoes!

The other day Boy Child and I were leaving his school when we saw this little teeny tiny girl in her cute leggings, jean skirt and of course, her light up shoes. I giggled to the Boy Child about how cute the shoes were.
I then decided to touch on the subject... you know, to see if I'm going to be paying for a therapy session about friggin' shoes!

It went a little something like this... "I never bought you shoes like that. You know the ones that light up. Are you mad?"
"Really Mom? I think they're kinda dumb."

Oh good! I told him I wanted to make sure he wasn't going to grow up hating me for not buying him light up shoes.

He thought for a second then said... "but maybe for the crocs."

I took the Boy Child to a hockey game tonight (our team won!) and we were sitting in an awkward arrangement, but nonetheless the seats were pretty decent. I'm not complaining!

Although... I am going to complain about the woman that was in the section over who apparently thought she shouldn't stand for something like... oh say, The National Anthem.
Bitch.

The Homie G sitting next to me that decided he should leave his trash behind. I don't mean trash, I mean the dump. That guy packed away some serious food tonight. Yes, I'm judging.

... and to the man on the other side of the aisle, the one not wearing the wedding ring. Call me!

I saw you looking.

It all started with: "I want to write and get paid for it. I have a lot of shit to say!"

I posted that on Facebook a few nights ago and comments came in ranging from "write a book, I'll read it!" to "blog".
Well, I used to blog, quite often, and I really do miss it. I miss writing and the feeling it left me with when I finished a piece, but it was almost becoming like work. Work I wasn't getting paid for.
I know right!!

You see, it would take me all day, I literally mean all damn day to write a blog post. Nothing pisses me off more than misspelled words, writing pieces that do not flow properly, or just overall, shit writing. I, myself, want better than that.
When you read someone's writing, you don't want to have to reread it to try and figure out what they are trying to convey to you or you're left wondering, did you really just spell that word that way?

Yesterday was the great Dr. Seuss' birthday and my Facebook status said something about it, and my dumb ass spelled "Seuss" wrong. That shit ate me up all day! I couldn't fix it and I am so glad nobody called me out on it!

I'll fix your spelling/grammar mistakes, but don't go fixin' mine!